Regression
by Cheria
Summary: Izuru/Momo challenge, 15 prompts - No matter how hard they tried, they always wound up back to square one.
1. Chapter 1: Ambition

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: shinigami  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: Certain vows should not be made for the sake of ones well being.

* * *

They both had a purpose. The words were carved into the core of their minds when they were given the uniform indicating their official ranks as a shinigami.

Momo swore she would fight for Sousuke and everyone. Especially as she was assigned to the 5th Division, her vow could be taken a step further. It was absolute, she would fight to the death for the man she idol worshiped. No one would be able to stand between her and her captain. Not even a close friend, no matter how legitimate the reason sounded.

Izuru swore he would protect her. When put into the same division, he was sure he would be able to keep a close eye on her. However, when he was promoted to 3rd Division lieutenant, an additional goal was put alongside the initial promise; to follow Gin's each and every order, and serve as the model adjutant for the man. Not even the commander-general would be able to sway his loyal mind. He would hold to both of his words, even if at any point it would seem nearly impossible to carry out both.

She didn't notice how hollow and fake her path was.

He found out the hard way that his vows coincided one another.

And they both had their ambitions trampled over and tossed aside.

The initial shock had been shaken off on Izuru's part. He endured the horrors of facing the one woman he promised himself to safe from a world of pain as he was the one to send her to its jaws. It didn't bother him that he was imprisoned for his actions - it was more irritating that he had broken that oath. Even after the first set of chaotic events, he only ended up further shredding those first words into tiny pieces, while the second purpose flourished what with his blind allegiance.

Momo's sanity did not live through square one. The sight had been unbearable, and she had felt her mind shatter with ease. She had screamed, thrashed about, and eventually came to the conclusion that he had done it all. Her words were brought to the surface, and she assaulted the murderer, or at least attempted to. She continued to replay that vow in her senses repeatedly, holding true to the last part of her goal; Izuru had intercepted her attack. So she would go through him. For sure she would throw off all in her path to achieve that one goal of putting her captain to rest.

The aftermath was no better. Izuru found himself free from his captain's suffocating atmosphere, but the feeling of being left behind after all he had done was crushing. His belief and only remaining purpose had worked against him, crushing the remaining bit of confidence he possessed. He could not keep up.

Momo was in a world of her own. She was incapable of separating logic from nonsense, at the beginning. Soon she recovered from the sudden lapse of shock, but held her accusation of that man as solid as steel. Her belief was too strong.

He had fallen as a shinigami for making foolish promises.

She had lost her way as a lieutenant for drowning in admiration.

They had both failed.


	2. Chapter 2: A Place for Purity

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: black and white  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Drama  
Summary: They were both searching for redemption and some bit of innocence.

* * *

_In a prism, the color black - though it is not necessarily a color, by any means - takes in every other tone and shade. It takes and conquers everything, leaving no trace of what it has eaten._

Izuru has taken all the pain in. Despite being ostracized by the rest of the shinigami for remaining dutiful to that man, he registers each and every blow with precision. The words are stinging, meant to harm and knock some sense into the already well-knowing mind of his. Yet he allows them to continue, no retorts ever snaking their way out of his mind, though he is always coming up with snappy remarks at the gossips. He listens anyway, listening to the sharp points and jotting them down.

Then he conquers those fears and feelings of loneliness, one by one. He is outnumbered, but he will one day stand as the conqueror of his darkness. That is what he would like to believe. But Izuru knows that he has lied to himself many times, and that this is one of those occasions, because he is behind and losing to those words while the darkness swallows him.

_The white does not take, but rejects. It pushes away the other colors of the spectrum, the epitome of perfection, not to ever be marred by even a single dot. It never takes, nor does it ever give._

Momo did not take in the pain. The blade had never sent a surge of pain through her frail and broken body, but regret. Regret that she could not free the man she so idolized from the clutches of that manipulative fox. There was never any blood shed on her part. That had not been her blood. Rather, a symbol of her captain's ache and pain as the liquid oozed out from her figure. She believed that he had taken responsibility by putting her in bed, by disabling her from fighting or having to watch more bloodshed from fellow comrades.

She is confused, but that is one thing she can comprehend. Without doubt, he will be there in the future, smiling at her with that same gentle expression he had always wore, even when he had put her out of harm's way by running her through with it. Momo is not broken by any means, she is merely looking deeper into the core of the problem than the others bother to. Because if she didn't, no one else would bother to, and that meant that her captain was a lost cause.

_There is no pure color in a prism, or anywhere for that matter._

Neither were innocent. They were both tainted, as was everyone else. But like anyone else, their attempts to clear it all away were different.

A shimmering light in the darkness, and Izuru is clawing his way out. The words have hands, and though they attempt pulling him back, he continues to push forward. But when a strong force comes from the front, he is pushed back by the impulse, and crushed to the other end; right back to the beginning. He stays there for the longest time, bent up against the nothingness as he comprehends what has just happened. And in a moment Izuru is up on his feet again, trying to get back on track as he could see the faint sliver of light that corrupted the darkness.

The wound is opening again, and Momo can feel the liquid soaking through the bandages. The stark, hospitol white is marked by the evident crimson, and she tends to the injury - no, takes care of the mark he had left on her as a promise to keep her safe from all the trouble she was putting herself into. By the time the coverings are replaced, Momo is relieved that the blood has stopped. For a moment the bindings are clean and white again, before more splotches of red dribble across the unseen lines. She frowns and works to make the liquid undetectable again, unwrapping the bandages and working with a new set. She does it over and over again, until the wound stops, and that bit of pain she was experiencing leaving so abruptly.

They are far from it, but they continue to reach for purity anyway, as a way to redeem themselves for their incompetence. And maybe they will finish together and cross that line to redemption side by side.


	3. Chapter 3: Bloody Trail

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: the rain  
Rating: PG (K+)  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: The rain washed away blood, but it couldn't clear away the illusions.

* * *

Often on rainy days, the shinigami rejoiced when the weather turned to the worse after a mission. It usually meant they would not be required to clean up the bloody mess, or touch the corpses for that matter - because no matter who it was, laying a hand on a body and dumping it to the side for show was despicable and undeserving. So when the rain did the job for them with its unending sprinklers, it left an atmosphere of relief.

But not this time. No rain could ever wash away this tremendous amount of blood.

He hadn't witnessed it spill, hadn't even seen it at all truthfully. Just looking at her said enough, though, as the severity of the wound spoke for itself with a mere glance at the bandages and the spares by the nightstand, the used ones in a box set at the corner of the bed on the floor. But every time he looked at her when no one was around to see him visit her room in the 4th Division barracks, he felt his gut twist at the sight of a bedridden Momo.

He was hallucinating. She was covered in red, the imaginary blood leaving a puddle across the floor as it seaped through the sheets she was placed under, and he could _hear_ the droplets hitting the ground with such audacity he would have to cover his ears. Even as he left the room and retreated to the hallway, that non existent trail of blood was there, splattered all over the ground as if she had been dragged to her bedside. Every time it appeared, he ran away, not taking a single glance back despite the odd glances the passerbys gave him.

Red, red, red. It was all he saw.

From day one he had known it was all a part of his imagination. He had stalked into the room after Hitsugaya had left, and while that fake sight had initiated a silenced cry from his lips, the realization that it was not a part of reality had made the atmosphere unsettling. Since that moment he had wanted to hold her, caress her, rub her back and rock back and forth with her in his gentle grasp to soothe away that horrible image. Not that he had never wanted to feel her skin before in the past, but the reasoning was different in this scenario.

However, he would never touch her when she was so vulnerable. He required her consent, that she was actually aware of what he was doing, rather than taking advantage of her disability to respond to the environment around her. The comatose was a curse, no doubt.

While he would have been fine and force himself to adapt to the crimson imagery, what left him utterly terrified was the fact that he could _feel_ the blood. Not like the cliche events where the people would see the red on their hands and freak, but that he had seemingly slipped on a puddle when he had approached the room. It was all fake, nothing was real, yet it felt so real his logical mind was unable to comprehend it all. He remembered that one time when he fell with a soft thud, and after remaining flat on the floor for who knows how long to ensure no one had heard, that to his dismay his form was covered with the sticky and fresh liquid.

Which was why, when he made that same mistake again this time, he remained still. He did not rise from the floor, but simply sat there dumbfounded as he willed his eyes to not look at himself, or Momo for that matter. The room was completely silent, and he could again hear the droplets splashing as it made contact with the floor, grimacing at the sound. But before the halcyon atmosphere could drive him completely off the edge, he heard it; the sound of water hitting the roof.

_Rain._

He scuttled his way down the hall, trying not to grab any attention as the hour was late and, surely, everyone must have retired to bed by this time. Quietly slipping out the entrance, he left the safeties of the extension above the door to keep the rain out, instead welcoming it as he walked straight into the open.

It was pure insanity, but he could feel the liquid being washed off of him. He knew it wasn't there. Never the less, he was satisfied that the _feeling_ of it was gone and dripping off of his soaken uniform. He continued to stand with his eyes closed, chin poised up to face the sky as the droplets of the rain brutally made contact over and over again, without end.

He was not sure when he had passed out, but the moment he regained consciousness in the 4th Division barracks and was met with the illusion of red, Izuru cried out.


	4. Chapter 4: Half a Smile

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: masks  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: Everyone knew Izuru's smiles were strained and said nothing of it, but when Momo tried to fake her own, something in him snapped.

* * *

They knew just as well as Izuru did that his smiles were not truly genuine. Partially, maybe, but not entirely. After becoming Gin's adjutant, smiling for real did not seem to come by as a necessity, mostly due to the man's unshakeable and suffocating presence. Trying to be happy with that heavy weight from the uneasy atmosphere was hardly a simple task, and almost downright possible. Instead, he feigned most of it, but managed to retain some genunity in the expressions he offered to lighten the mood when with his friends, because that influence set by Gin had managed to become a permanent dent in his figure.

He knew it was upsetting to those around him that he was seemingly faking it all, but they were unable to understand that a part of it was indeed true. It was, to say, a white lie as they was some truth to it instead of a complete falsity. But he didn't say anything. He knew that if he ever brought the topic up, unnecessary questions would plague him that he wasn't ready to answer. Izuru would never be prepared enough to respond to such personal queries.

Which was why when he spoke with Momo for the first time in a while, he chose not to smile and merely maintained a straight face.

"I'm sure Aizen-taichou did this to us - to me - so that he could avoid any more problems than there already was." She had confessed, looking down at the floor as she twiddled her thumbs.

Thankfully no one was around the 5th Division barracks to hear what Momo what had said; if anyone had, they would have had her sent straight back to the bed for her instability. She couldn't accept that Sousuke had betrayed Soul Society, and remained loving to the good side of him that had never existed in the first place. Many had tried to gently push some sense into her mind, but she was so determined and set on her assumption that she listened to no one. Izuru didn't even bother with pressing her on the matter, as he knew it would be futile, especially with her numbing counter that he had helped Gin all the way and that he should be able to understand.

He did, but he didn't agree with it. But he played along anyway, to keep her hopes from being crushed, though he was sure she would have a harsh landing after the whole war. He would be to blame for it, but it was better for her to maintain that bit of optimism rather than having it oblierated from early on.

And every time she spoke out her theory, he would respond with the same words, as if the whole scene was scripted.

"I suppose."

He was neither agreeing or disagreeing. Yet, as it sounded more towards the agreeing side, Momo did not go out of her way to convince him that she was right and that her belief must be true.

Izuru swallowed, looking down at his fellow lieutenant. "Hinamori-kun."

She raised her head, her sight moving from the floor to his form as she acknowledged his call. "What is it?"

He sighed, breaking eye contact from those permanently sad eyes as he looked around for anything to focus on, as long as it wasn't her. It was a rude gesture, but he couldn't stand to look at her after what he had done; she was the result of his treacherous actions during the conspiracy, and it shamed him so much more than he was already feeling with a mere glance towards her direction.

"Are you all right...?" Izuru managed, slowly turning his head to gaze back at the girl, forcing himself to face his fears.

She smiled, her lips contorting into what normally would have been a sweet expression, but this time it was far from that. The corners of her eyes were strained, like how his always were from the constant facade. And the orbs of her eyes told otherwise, they spoke of anything and everything but happiness or contemptness. He shuddered at the sight, but willed his body to stay still and held back the sudden urge to gag.

"I'm okay, Kira-kun. You're here listening to me, so I'm all right."

Izuru had never felt so disgusted with himself.


	5. Chapter 5: Innuendo

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: one summer  
Rating: PG (K+)  
Genre: Humor  
Summary: The day is unusually hot, and Renji, Izuru and Momo wind up talking about things they should not be.

* * *

It was an incredibly sultry day in Soul Society, the rays of the sun harshly hitting against anything and everything. The windows and walls of buildings were heated, many people were down with one or two sunburns, and the ground was merciless to bare feet. The plants were withering, the trees seeming to curl into its own shades as means of escaping the heat. Simply put, it was a horrible climate.

Renji, Izuru, and Momo understood this well.

The redhead sighed as he adjusted his shades. "I can't believe we're training out in this heat."

"Shouldn't someone from the 11th Division be saying, 'if you're training hard enough, the weather doesn't matter'?" Izuru piped up, smirking.

As Renji glared at the blond, Momo was attempting to cool herself down by waving her hand by her face. "But it's so hot, Kira-kun! I don't think anyone can stand this heat."

The blond shook his head. "Where do you suggest we move to? The 5th and 11th Divisions' training halls are already occupied and full, going to another company's barracks to practice there would be awkward."

For a moment there was silence, and the three had their own tries at keeping a bearable temperature. Renji was moving to a shade formed by a small tree a few feet back, Momo was still fanning herself, and Izuru was doing the same with a handbook he used for recording various progresses and the like.

Only several seconds passed before Renji was seen stomping out of the shade, the tree having done no good. Momo gave up with the self-supported air, dropping her hands and sighing. Izuru followed, his arm hanging limply with a light grip on the journal. They looked at one another in disappointment.

"That's it," the redhead muttered, "you two turn around." With that said, he went back to the tree, going around and behind it this time so that his schoolmates would not be able to see him.

"What do you think he's going to do?" Momo asked, looking back at Izuru as the blond shrugged. He had an idea, but he hoped that wasn't what Renji was planning to do.

And how wrong he was when Renji emerged from behind the trees, the top half of his shihakushou a messy bundle in his arms. He wasn't shirtless, however, having left his shitagi on. Never the less, the blond shinigami slightly jumped back from the sight, while Momo gazed comically at him.

"What?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Abarai-kun, why did you take your kosode off?"

"I was hot, and this thing's stuffy," he motioned to the black garment in his arms, proceeding to lay the top on the grass before trudging towards the two.

"But... we have to keep our shihakushou on at all times during duty." Izuru insisted, recovering from the light shock.

He rolled his eyes. "I _am_ still wearing it. Just not the outside top."

"Abarai-kun...," the blond started, "you have no shame."

"I'm a man, I should be proud at all times," Renji retorted, "And if you're a man, you shouldn't have any problems with taking your kosode off too."

For a moment the words hadn't registered in Izuru's mind. But when it did, he immediately raised his arms up in an awkward position, giving off the impression of a victim being assaulted by a leaping frog. His blue eyes widened considerably at the suggestion, and he immediately shook his head 'no'. The redhead returned the motion with a different meaning, looking at the blond with an expression that said 'you're no man'.

When he tensed, Momo stepped in between the two, a somewhat strained smile on her face as she tried her best not to laugh at the odd interaction. "Oh, come on, Abarai-kun. Kira-kun is man enough. Aren't you?" She turned to said shinigami, who was looking quite lost and dumbfounded. "Have some confidence in your masculinity!" She encouraged.

"She sounds more like a man than you, Kira."

Momo immediately huffed at this. "I am _not_; how mean!"

Renji smirked challengingly, "Oh? So you're a girly girl?" She denied this too, and his grin only grew larger. "Then prove that you're just as manly as the others, Hinamori."

She feigned an aggressive glare. "I'll show you!" She ran back to behind the trees, and Izuru's eyes widened again as realization struck him. "Abarai-kun... do you know what you've done?"

"Oh, yeah. I know." The redhead muttered in response, stifling a laugh as the blond sighed and scuttled to the plant Momo had disappeared back to.

He could hear scuffling, and no doubt it was because she was removing her kosode to imitate Renji's show of manliness. He admitted that it was rather adorable of her to have fallen so childishly into that prank, but the fact that she was so serious about it was something else. He stood by the tree for the longest time, contemplating whether he should go confront her about the trick or go back to Renji and wait for her to emerge in the same fashion as the redhead. He decided against the latter after meeting the former's amused expression.

Clearing his throat, he knocked the wood a couple times. It must have been a silly sight, knocking on a tree to get someone's attention. It worked, however, as Momo's muffled voice reached his ears in a matter of seconds.

"Hinamori-kun," he started, "come out."

"But I'm not done getting my kosode off, Kira-kun! I'm almost finished, just go wait with Abarai-kun." She sounded determined, and he shook his head.

"Hinamori-kun, keep your top on. Abarai-kun... he just wanted to spite you to see your reactions."

The rustling immediately stopped. A moment later the sounds picked up again, and she returned, her kosode still on. Renji faltered slightly from his loss, and he did so perhaps too noticeably, as Momo reprimanded him in the gentle way only she could. Basically, softly yelling out protests without any means of chiding or correcting his trickery.

And the two continued the conversation with outrageous retorts and comebacks, leaving Izuru to be very amused as he watched silently, apparently forgotten by his schoolmates. No matter, they would notice his presence sooner or later, and he smiled at the reaction they would make when they realized that they had put on an odd show for him. At least they were no longer complaining about the heat, which had been going on for nearly a week. This would keep them busy and off of the subject for a bit, and he was rather grateful for it.

Still, he couldn't help but blush at the mere thought of Momo without her kosode.


	6. Chapter 6: Step by Step

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: to protect  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Hurt/comfort  
Summary: Momo has shattered, and Izuru is there to pick up the pieces.

* * *

_Are you lost? Her back is to him, but her shaking shoulders tell him she is crying. He approaches and puts a firm hand on her trembling shoulders. She ceases her movement. For a moment they are frozen in time, until she turns her head and looks him in the eye. Hers are full of sorrow, just like his._

She resumes her sobbing, and he puts his other hand on the remaining shoulder. He's careful not to put his weight on her for fear of crushing her frail frame. She doesn't respond in any way, refuses to ackowledge his presence as the tears continue to spill. He scowls for a brief moment before he kneels, connecting his hands together with his arms wrapped around her neck.

Carefully, his hands roam cautiously and find her own. Her hands are cold and tan, whereas his are warm and pale. The contradiction is amusing, but he dismisses the thought and holds his hands over hers. There is nothing to catch the tears that fall, and the droplets land on their fists. She continues to let them trail down her cheek silently, occasionally choking and hiccuping. The liquid is neither incredibly cold nor unbearably hot, but almost soothing as if she is washing away her ache.

He buries his face in her disheleved hair, taking in the scent of flowers. Her hiccuping is making her head move in sudden movements, and it hurts every time the scalp makes harsh contact with his nose, but he doesn't pay any attention to his own pain. Physical pain is nothing compared to a mental and emotional wound.

Holding her gently, he rocks back and forth slowly. Granted, his position made the movement awkward and uncomfortable, yet all he wants is to comfort her. She leans into his grip, allowing him to caress her like a mother tending to her child. He feels strange, happy and furious all at once.

In time she stops, completely silent and limp. He stops rocking, his grasp loosening as her hands now cling onto his arms. He slowly stands up, making sure not to kick her or wrench his arms too heartlessly out of her grasp. She still sits, unknowing of what to do, until he extends a hand. Glancing at the offered hand, she accepts it and takes a stand by his side.

_Follow me?_

Insecurity reels in her mind, and she simply stands rooted to the spot. He tugs at her hand, but she makes no move. He flashes a sad smile before swallowing her left hand with both of his as means of assurance and comfort.

_Hinamori-kun._

She looks up hesistantly. He towers over her and she is forced to crane her neck to look into his eyes again. She sees hope and the desire to guide in his gaze, and the case of deja vu hits her. As if someone had hit her she recoils, reliving the memories of when her captain had given her that same look. She misses him, longs to embrace him, to see that gentle smile again, not another with the same qualities. It is him she wants to be with, no one else.

He is in utter confusion at her reaction, but when she starts muttering his name to herself, he understands. He looks down at the floor in shame, the eyes losing their comforting quality as disappointment takes over. He will never be that one person she idolizes and hero worships, because he refuses to deceive her and leave her to be lost like he had.

But he knows she isn't not right in the head. She's stable and all right, despite what others think. She is not broken, not at all, except many people believe so and treats her like an invalid. They are too cautious around her, too paranoid and wary. It only hurts her more due to their ignorance. He knows though, realizes what she is going through, for he's been abandoned too. Her pain, however, is far greater than his, and all he wants is to help her.

_Hinamori-kun._

A quick glance and she turns back away.

_Momo._

The personal approach is enough to have her completely look back at him. He takes her hand again, having dropped it when she had turned away, and smiles with genuine care.

_Follow me._

And after a while, she does.


	7. Chapter 7: Warning

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: to learn  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Humor  
Summary: When it's time for Renji's kidou lessons, Izuru and Momo know it is wise to hide - preferably behind something large and sturdy.

* * *

To say Renji was inefficient at kidou was a huge understatement. As determined he was to learn how to use it without trouble, the redhead was having some serious issues trying not to blow himself up like always. And after days of constant practicing, he had barely improved.

"Abarai-kun, you don't have to stress yourself out so much. You're already good with swordsmanship, so there's no need to worry so much on this," Momo spoke, genuine concern evident in her tone.

He shook his head. "No, I'm going to get this down even if it kills me."

Izuru sighed, his blunt nature taking over the worried exterior. "At this rate, you'll end up killing yourself." When Momo gave him a look, he immediately silenced himself.

Renji's eyes narrowed, and he went back to working on his stance. "I'll get it, just you wait."

Momo merely nodded feebly before standing by the sideline with Izuru, watching as the redhead concentrated with all his might. The first two thoughts that came up to the blond was his hands were swapped, the right should have been where the left was, and he said one word wrong for the incantation. He often performed better than this, but Izuru could see why he made those mistakes; their presence pressured him into trying harder, which consequently ended up marring his focus.

And just as he expected, there was smoke enveloping Renji in a hazy veil, and a crude curse could be heard. Momo was by his side in a flash.

"Are you okay, Abarai-kun?" She asked worriedly, shaking his shoulder gently as the redhead's wheezing subsided. When he resumed his position, the shorter shinigami grasped his arms. "Here, let me help you." After a nod of confirmation, she guided the hands to proper places. She also whispered what Izuru assumed to be some form of suggesion, for he was too far apart from the two to hear them.

When she returned, he looked down at her. "What did you tell him?" The girl smiled with pride.

"A way that can put his power output to maximum. It was a little on the weak side the first time, so I wanted to help him with that."

He would have idly nodded and looked back at the redhead, but instead he found himself wrenching back as if he had been punched. He explained himself when Momo gave him an odd look. "Hinamori-kun... did you tell Abarai-kun how to expel all that force? So that, you know, it doesn't cumulate and blow up in front of him?"

Her horrified expression was more than enough to confirm that she hadn't.

He would apologize to Renji later for his rude actions. Izuru grasped Momo's thin wrists and hastily ran back. As the field was full of rocks and the like, it did not prove to be too difficult to find shelter behind a large boulder. He pressed his back against the structure, Momo by his side.

A moment later they heard a surprisingly soft explosion. However, the sound was deceiving, as a harsh gust and various parts of the field such as twigs flew past them. It was powerful, all right. Izuru could have sworn Momo was just about ready to fly from the force of the wind.

He slowly scooted away from the boulder, turning to scout for Renji. It was not a feat to search for red among all the green and brown. He quickly spotted his schoolmate, hunched over and coughing again from the smoke. To his surprise, there was a patch of grass missing, burnt, a few feet ahead of the redhead.

When the two shinigami quietly approached Renji, he raised his head, a triumphant smirk spread all over his bold features. The blond cleared his throat.

"You didn't blow yourself up," he started, "but we're going to have to find a way to clean the field."


	8. Chapter 8: Deceit

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: butterflies  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: The little butterflies always told the truth, though people seldom listened to them.

* * *

_The little butterfly told her that he was too good to be true._

Momo had never at any point believed such a statement. Indeed, Sousuke was a saint, excelling in practically every aspect of life. He was kind, diligent, ambitious, understanding, and powerful all rolled into one. Most believed he was the 'good catch' kind - no one suspected him. Momo had no reason to accuse him of treachery, and instead took to idol worshiping until the praises and adoration were out of her control.

That nagging conscience in the deepest corner of her mind had been the right one the entire time. Everyone else had been wrong to think Sousuke was innocent.

_The little butterfly told him that he was too quiet._

Izuru was one to keep everything silent lest requested by superiors. It was not at all a negative trait, but it was neither a positive quality. Orders were what guided him, and unless commands were issued to him, he was clueless and would wait until a superior commanding officer came by to tell him what to do. Gin had often commented on how he liked the fact that Izuru kept quiet unless ordered otherwise, how the boy was so prone to keeping everything buried in the back of his mind. He had thought it was a compliment.

But it was a curse. Because he had refused to inform any other superiors of the following conspiracy, everything had gone downhill.

_The little butterfly was ultimately crushed by the betrayals of their captains, the tiny shreds of remaining resistance and reluctance completely shattered._

And that was when they had truly lost.


	9. Chapter 9: Sweet Teeth

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: candy  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Friendship  
Summary: They both had an odd trait in common; the love for sweets.

* * *

She had first expressed her interest in those candies when they were studying about it in class. At the mention of candy - never mind the 'soul' part that went beforehand - her eyes had brightened and her posture had straightened. He had been watching her at the time, and his brows had raised in amusement at the sight. She was just like a child, easily excited and drawn in.

Momo was genuinely surprised when a box of sweets was found on the counter of her seat. She looked around, assuming someone had merely forgotten their candy and dropped it onto her desk by coincidence. When no one made eye contact with her, she looked down at the box in confusion before noting the tag on the corner, written in neat cursive; _Hinamori-kun_.

He watched and grinned stupidly when a faint blush appeared on her features. She had many admirers, and tracking it back to him would be nearly impossible.

The next time he chose to give her candy, he decided to do so in person. Momo had nearly jumped several inches in the air when she realized he had been the one who sent the anonymous gift. But her shock was immediately replaced by words of appreciation in a matter of seconds, and Izuru missed seeing the worked up face she made whenever she was surprised. It was cute, to say in the least.

Then she had asked: "Where do you get these, Kira-kun? The quality of these candies are so much better than the ones sold in the tiny shops."

"I have access to other stores." It was because he was a noble that he was granted so much more freedom when it came to purchasing things - money was no issue when he was the last of his rather preservative family.

"Oh," Momo had launched into a contemplative mood before she raised a candy she was about to throw in her mouth, holding it out for him, "I want you to have this one. I'd feel so selfish if I ate them all by myself."

When she added a smile for some extra effect, he immediately took the sweet - albeit somewhat nervously out of how intimate they were being - and swallowed it whole without thinking. Granted, he had nearly choked and passed out from the obnoxious move, but Momo's laughter had been reward enough.


	10. Chapter 10: A Difference

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: souls  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: General  
Summary: The one thing Izuru had that none of his friends did was a family of blood relatives. Momo takes it upon herself to question him on the matter.

* * *

Izuru, unlike many, had come from a functional family whose blood he actually shared. Most shinigami came from rukongai, especially the 11th Division, and the kind of families they had were simply other souls brought together by chance or luck. But not him, he was born into the family he had come to know and love, not accepted into it as an outsider. It was the one precious thing he had had the honor of having in his life.

"Kira-kun," Momo started, "what's your family like?" It was a question of whim, something she said before even thinking it through. He responded accordingly anyway.

"They spoiled me," he explained, "Whenever I fell, Mother would come and comfort me. If I broke something, Father chided me - he never chastised me. I was raised to be disciplined and sincere, so the atmosphere around the mansion was always light but strict, if you get what I mean. And," Izuru cleared his throat, "they wanted me to be a shinigami, so here I am."

Momo brightened at this, a smile reaching his range of vision. "They must be proud of you."

"Probably." He replied lightly. _But most likely not for my lack of a spine..._ He kept that thought to himself.

She seemed to be in deep contemplation before piping up again. "Say, what do your parents look like, Kira-kun?"

"Mother and Father were both blond. She had blue eyes, but his were green. Mother's hair was always loose and long, and kept straight. Father's was short and sleeked. They both wore what nobles would wear, like silk."

As if she had been expecting the answer, Momo straightened up. "So both your parents are blond..." She trailed off, but he knew all to well why she had been wondering such thing.

Momo was from Rukongai. She had resided with a made up family, if any at all. Usually would-be parents looked nothing like their adoptive children, and it was expected that she would think the inheritance of genes to be intriguing. She knew she was born into a family during her past life, but it was likely that she had passed at a young age and did not remember anything. Unlike Izuru, who had never had the experience of dying to arrive at Soul Society.

"I'd really like to see them," Momo absent-mindedly remarked, a soft grin touching her face as she imagined what his parents would look exactly like, "I'm certain your mother is beautiful."

He merely nodded, knowing that she would never get to meet the people she wanted to. Because even if he somehow miraculously tracked down his mother and father's souls, they wouldn't be the same. They probably didn't even have a remotely similar appearance anymore either. It was upsetting just to imagine the disappointment on Momo's face once she learned they had passed a years ago. Evidently, she had not caught on to the fact that he was using past tense, and decided to leave it that way.

So he thought of a different solution.

"You can't see her, Hinamori-kun," and without waiting for a response, he quickly added, "I'll show you a picture of her, though."

Thankfully, she had recognized that tone in his voice, and did not pry. It was the sort of tone that meant he did not wish to elaborate and wanted the subject to be left behind. But she had finally figured out why. There was an obvious cracking in his voice as it suddenly sounded raspy, and the sorrow dripping from his words was enough to tell her they weren't there. Such personal stories were never discussed during their academy days, and she had had no idea. It was better to leave it this way, to keep him thinking she was oblivious to the fact to avoid having to remind him of his family any longer than she needed to.

So she just smiled again, nodding with satisfaction.

"I'd like that."


	11. Chapter 11: Off track

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: standing to defend you  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Humor  
Summary: He never wanted to hear those dreadful accusations from her. Even if it killed him.

* * *

"For the last time, Abarai-kun; no, I'm not." Izuru sighed, shaking his head to emphasize his words as the red-head glared suspiciously at the blond.

Momo smiled reassuringly in his direction before turning to Renji. "Yeah, there's no way Kira-kun could be -"

"- Hinamori-kun, you don't have to say it." The 3rd Division lieutenant gritted, not wanting to ever hear those words come from her innocent mouth. She shouldn't have to say it.

It had been going on for days. Ever since the silly rumors had started, the gossiping was worsening with each and every precious minute that passed by. Even Renji was coming to be suspicious, so was Yumichika and Tetsuzaemon. It was horrifying and humiliating all the same, to have been talked about in such a fashion. The fact that he was the center of the rumors was not what particularly bothered him; rather, it was the contents of the talk that fazed him considerably.

He was not about to let Momo say those words. Ever -

"- but Kira-kun can't be gay!"

And he had failed.


	12. Chapter 12: Circumstances

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: parting ways/meetings  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: Over the decades they had drifted apart, and they weren't about to come close any time soon.

* * *

He remembered when he first met her. She had been so full of life and energy, blossoming like the peach she was named after. Her eyes had gleamed and glistened with boundless ambition and kindness, a rare combination when either trait overpowered the other. But she had it all balanced. Momo was the light of the shinigami, the kind of person everyone loved and adored. The kind of person that was often used for others' sick and twisted plans.

_You used to laugh and skip._

She remembered when she first stumbled into him. He had stood tall with confidence, his arrogance clearly evident one way or another. He had been able to back up the light-hearted boasts with top scores in every aspect of their lessons, but the egotistical side had never blinded him from being caring and generous. He had been the one who upheld the law with his own methods, working hard to achieve pride and honor. Izuru was the symbol of righteousness.

_You used to smile and be confident._

Everything had changed.

_You're always looking sad with bags under your eyes._

_Your smiles are never real and doesn't mean a thing anymore._

How had the circumstances taken such a horrible turn?


	13. Chapter 13: Fragrance

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: flowers  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Friendship  
Summary: Momo has always liked flowers, and decides to bring Renji and Izuru along on one of her trips to the garden.

* * *

"Kira-kun, you don't pull it like that!"

The blond, startled, relinquished his grip on the stem as he turned to face Momo, who looked rather nervous.

Renji shook his head at Izuru's bewildered expression, "You don't pick flowers like that, it won't live," he gestured to the garden, litered with said plants of various colors and shapes, "when you want to take it, you have to dig it out with the root. It's like trying to pick up someone - you wouldn't chop off someone's legs."

"Oh," Izuru mouthed, "Sorry."

"You never picked flowers before, have you?" Momo questioned, inspecting a light pink flower.

When the blond shook his head, Renji shrugged. The redhead assumed that, as a noble, Izuru had never had to leave the mansion much, and spend his time picking flowers, no less. Like a city boy. He didn't even like sitting on the grass, for fear of ruining his shihakushou with the green stains. It couldn't be helped; he had been raised that way, and was still far too accustomed to that style of life. On the other hand, Renji and Momo were used to these sort of environment, more like countryfolks.

"We always got flowers from the shops."

Momo looked up at the sky, a finger on her chin as if she was thinking something over, "I think the flowers we pick ourselves are nicer than the bundles they put out on the shelves." Then she quickly added, "Because it's been hand-picked specifically for someone." And then she giggled, playing with the petals of the same flower. "I honestly didn't expect you to be a flower expert, though, Abarai-kun." Izuru could have sworn he had seen Renji snort silently.

"I'm not. I know because of Rukia back when we were at Rukongai."

That was more than enough reason, and she didn't ask of him to elaborate. The blond merely raised a brow; it sounded like Rukia was the center of everything in Renji's life, his core. Then again, he saw Momo in a similar way ever since he had befriended her, but the connection wasn't nearly as strong as the redhead and young Kuchiki's. However, he could see why Rukia was so important, even if he didn't know the backstory, so he left it at that, like Momo had.

"Kira-kun," Momo called, "I think you would look nice with this." On cue she raised a flower that was colored sky blue, twirling it gently to avoid snapping the stem and severing it from its roots.

Renji burst in laughter, and Izuru shot him an offended glare. The redhead immediately calmed down while the other shinigami strained a smile. His face felt hot, and Izuru was quite sure that he was close to blushing, if not already from the fact that Momo had put him and the flower in the same category.

"Well...," he trailed off, looking for anything to change the subject. When he spotted a flower with an elegant violet tone, he gestured to it, "I think that would look great on you, Hinamori-kun." And he mentally kicked himself for how awkward that had sounded.

She followed his hand, her gaze resting on the plant he had mentioned. She stood up and walked over to it, kneeling again to take a look. After a moment of inspection and feeling the petals, Momo sent a grin in his general direction. "I like this one." She exclaimed cheerfully, and Izuru was now fully aware that there was a shade of red crossing his cheeks. To his relief, neither Momo nor Renji - who had now retired to taking a break on a tree nearby, much like how he had when they first met by sheer accident - seemed to have noticed.

"That's good to hear," he half muttered and half gritted, scoffing as if to bury away his shyness in the matter.

Momo straightened, wiping her hands on the sides of her hakama. She turned back to face the blond, her tone filled with anxiety, "Kira-kun. Next time I drop by here, do you want to come with me again? You have good taste."

He nodded.

And for days to come, he often accompanied Momo to the same garden, pointing out some flowers here and there, and she would almost always favor the ones he chose out of the daily batch. Izuru had thought she was only pretending to like his selection to be kind, but when she had one day come back from a solo trip with a container of the plants he had suggested, he knew he had been wrong.


	14. Chapter 14: A New Trend

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: bo-hahahaha!  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Humor  
Summary: In which Momo attempts to persuade Izuru to laugh like Don Kanonji.

* * *

"Bo-hahahaha!"

He blinked.

Momo pouted, "Come on, Kira-kun, follow along!"

He blinked again in confusion.

The girl huffed, crossing her arms across her chest in the shape of an x with her fingers curled in. "Like this. Do this, Kira-kun."

Izuru complied, nodding and slowly raising his arms to mimick the way she positioned hers. Albeit it felt strange but he did it anyway to keep her content, as she was easy to disappoint when no one joined her in what she found to be entertaining. A smile graced Momo's features when he looked at her expectantly, waiting for the next set of directions. Her arms remained where she had raised them, and she took in a huge gulp of breath before demonstrating the next step:

"Bo-hahahaha!"

And he did nothing but gawk.

"Oh, come on!" Momo insisted, readying herself for another booming laughter before Izuru lowered his arms and held them out in an effort to stop her. "What is it?"

"What... are you _doing_, Hinamori-kun?"

"Some thing I heard from a taiin concerning the living world. It's the trademark quote of a very famous television show!" He seriously doubted that was a quote.

The next words that spilled from her lips snapped Izuru from his daydreaming. "And I want you to do it with me."

He could have sworn his eyes had widened at the thought of it all. Him, the stiff lieutenant of the 3rd Division, doing... _that_?

Izuru stifled a sigh, his shoulders slumping. "Do I have to...?"

"Yes, you do!"

In truth, he would have walked away had it been someone other than Momo. But this was Momo that was asking him to do this, and there was no way in Soul Society he could refuse her anything. He wanted to continue protesting, but the gleam in her eyes told him there was no escape, and that he was doomed to laugh that ridiculous excuse for a laughter. So when he raised his arms slowly, her smile widened even more. She closed her eyes, and with a huge intake of oxygen, she was ready. He continued to stare at her.

"Bo-hahaha - h-hey, Kira-kun!"

There was no way he could do this.


	15. Chapter 15: Quotes

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Prompt: a fight in winter  
Rating: G (K)  
Genre: General  
Summary: Izuru visits and speaks to Momo before the Winter War.

* * *

"How are you doing, Hinamori-kun?"

_... ... ..._

"The weather is good today. It's a little on the warm side, but there's a cool breeze by the shades. You would like it; you never did like the heat. The others would probably too, only if we weren't preparing for a fight. No one pays attention to the climate anymore.

Have I told you about the upcoming battle, Hinamori-kun? We're going to fight, all of us. Even Yamamoto-soutaichou is coming, and he'll be leading everyone. You'll be cheering for Hitsugaya-taichou, right? As a captain, he's obliged to go with Matsumoto-san. Don't worry, you and I both know he's more capable than the lot of us. He'll fight with his best for you, Hinamori-kun.

He's very busy with all the arrangements and training, but Hitsugaya-taichou still comes by every day. He's very dedicated. He sits with you for a long time, even after all the paper and fieldwork. He's amazing, isn't he?"

_A shift._

"I'm going too. Ichimaru-tai - Ichimaru isn't here anymore, but I want to fight for the 3rd Division. They're devastated by his leave. Most of them liked him better than me, so I suppose it's not that surprising. They enjoyed his company more than mine, because he was always upbeat and laidback. You and Kuchiki-san were the only ones besides the other captains who didn't like him. Everyone else thought he was a fun person. Even Kusajishi-fukutaichou liked him, since he listens to her and sometimes gives her candy.

Ahh, sorry, Hinamori-kun. I went off-track. I know how much you dislike him. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm going with the others to the living world to intercept them. All captains and lieutenants are required to come, everyone else will be staying in Soul Society to protect the area. Remember the ryoka? Some of us were dispatched to Hueco Mundo to help them and eliminate the arrancar while they're there. Kuchiki-taichou, Unohana-taichou, and Zaraki-taichou were three of the people that was sent. Abarai-kun is there too, with Kuchiki-san. I'm sure he's holding up well, Abarai-kun is strong. He already was, even without his bankai. Not the brightest, but one of the best fighters.

Those of us remaining are the ones going to the living world. You aren't going, but Hisagi-san and I are. And since Zaraki-taichou isn't going to be there, Madarame-san and Ayasegawa-san are the fillers even though they're only seated officers. Madarame-san is an incredible fighter, and Ayasegawa-san is always with him, so I'm sure he's a good combatant too.

The four of us aren't going to be in the main battle. Karakura was replaced with a fake, and the projections are set up by four pillars on every side. Yamamoto-soutaichou assigned us to protect the pillars at all cost, so that the real Karakura doesn't become a battlefield. He said we were 'skilled fighters' with enough experience and knowledge to guard the area. So we're going to eliminate any arrancar that get near the pillar.

I'm kind of glad I'm not in the main fight. I want and don't want to see him. You understand, don't you, Hinamori-kun? I never admired him in the way you did him, but you know how strong their influences are."

_He clenched the sleeves of his shihakushou._

"I'm fighting for the 3rd Division and you, Hinamori-kun. I want you to smile again. Not that fake one you tried to make, but the real, genuine thing. All of us want to see you grin again. The sad face doesn't suit you. You look the best with a smile, no matter what you're wearing. That's why I'm also doing this. The divisions are important, but so are you. So please, Hinamori-kun, don't forget how to smile. We're all fighting with you in mind; Hitsugaya-taichou, Abarai-kun, Hisagi-san, and myself."

_A small smile._

"... Hinamori-kun, would you like some chocolate when you get up? You always liked sweets. I can buy you plenty when you get up again. And you won't have to share them either; I'll purchase them just for you. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

I'll get some flowers too. I'll pick them myself, since you like those better than the bundles that the florists sell. Just name them, and I'll go looking. I won't rip the roots either. I'll gather as many as I can, so that when you get up you can wake to the fragrance of the flowers you love so much. And chocolate."

_The slide of a door._

"Oh, hello, Hitsugaya-taichou.

I'll be leaving now, Hinamori-kun. Rest well."

_Another slide of a door._


	16. Chapter 16: Untouchable, bonus

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its contents, Tite Kubo does.

Rating: G (K)  
Genre: Angst/Drama  
Summary: Izuru swore he wouldn't taint Momo. But he did.

* * *

If there was one thing Izuru was incapable of comprehending, it was affection. The case of infatuation plagued his body with impulsive reactions and obsessive thoughts, of which the latter proved to be utterly despicable. Momo was not someone to lay even a finger on.

Try as he might, he could never convince himself to touch Momo. She was the epitome of innocence, whereas he was the bearer of shame; his touch would taint her. But he longed to finger that childish smile, to grasp her petite hands into his own, to carve into his memory the feel of her skin.

Momo would not approve of it. Her naiveté robbed her of understanding what infatuation was, yet she was likely to pull away without even realizing she was rejecting the contact. The movement would be casual and unknowing, showing her obliviousness to the entirety of the situation. Izuru would never touch her for fear of being hurt.

He had always been selfish to a degree, and that was why he dared not go near the woman. He would not be able to live up to the pain. Unsurprisingly, that had been taken advantage of, as with all his other weaknesses.

In the end, Izuru was left to discover how blind he had been to aid that deceitful man just for her safety. She had been the one left with the most fatal casualties, in both mind and body.

That had been the first time he had touched her. Her captain had done the handiwork for him. It was because he had followed orders that she had been carried back with a gaping wound. As such, Izuru was to blame.

His first contact had been a weapon. And that hurt more than her tendency to break away from a genuine touch.


End file.
